Don’t you just hate it when……. (in no particular order):

1Poor Cashier Etiquette. You pay cash and the cashier gives you your change by placing the note in your hand with a bunch of coins on top of it; or they give it to you crumpled up already. THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE. Even worse is when you courteously hand them your cash or card and they return the notion by putting the card or your change on the counter! I feel like they hate me. I feel like they think I am scum and don’t even want me to make the purchase. They’re probably racist (a leap, perhaps). They can’t even be bothered to do me the courtesy of handing me my change or card like I did to them. It’s a matter of respect. It’s a matter of humanity. It’s a matter of life & death (hmmm, maybe not, lol). As I hand over to the cashier, my hard-earned cash; – hours of my life along with the effort of my thoughts, words and deeds are monetised and slipped into the till as a portion of my sweat is disrespectfully thrown back to me across the counter… To combat this, now – I quickly extend my hand to receive it, making it impossible to put my card or change on the counter without coming across extremely and blatantly rude. I have yet to experience someone flagrantly ignoring my open palm to put the change on the floor, sorry – I mean counter. We’ll see…

2Speaking over me in a conversation. I’m not talking about excitement or a sudden gushing of thoughts in a moment of fleeting joy and interest. This is not a monologue, announcement or speech. This is not a ‘monversation’. This started as a 2-way exchange of thoughts, ideas, opinions and notions. We gave each other accounts from our memory and recalled previous conversations and experiences… Now I’m sitting here 20mins later with the phone on the coffee table and you on loudspeaker as I skim through and decide what I’ll be watching this evening on catch-up TV. To avoid this I set my monvo-analysis monitor to ‘high’. If I sense a monvo coming on – I stop talking and frustrating myself by trying to get a word in edgeways; rather – I let the person rant, vent or whatever and slip into auto-response that shows active listening. ‘Mmm, yeah… Right… OK… Uh-huh… Wow… OK… Yeah… Sure, sure…’. Works a treat every time!

3BULLYING. For those that know me, I am the owner of what most people would call a SUPERSIZED frame (body). I currently weigh in at 28st (178kg/392lbs). At 6ft 3″ – my doctor says I am classified as ‘morbidly obese’. Granted, I’m no Greek statue of the gods but I would say that I have a muscular physique. Bullying is wrong on all levels. There are several types of bullying but they all mostly boil down to the victim’s ability (or rather, inability) to defend themselves. My thing is this – if I, (a man that has chosen not to use my physical size & strength to dominate and bend others to my will) can go through life without bullying others – HOW DARE ANY ONE ELSE??

When ‘little guys’ come up to me and say things like, ‘If I was your size, no one would mess with me’ – I just roll my eyes and thank God that the world isn’t subjected to this person’s ‘short man syndrome’. Imagine they did have my size?? YIKES! I guess that’s what a ‘big bully’ is in an alternate reality somewhere…  It’s not just physical dominance that we have to be aware of either. Sadly, there are people in this world that use their intelligence, quick wit and extensive vocabulary to belittle, embarrass and generally make people feel stupid and less intelligent than themselves. Now you might be reading this and get an inkling that I am capable of defending myself very well against evil-tongued, sharp-witted bullies. How astute of you! When the words from my mouth enter the unsuspecting ear of such persons for the first time, they are startled that such an articulation could escape my lips; – further evidence of their primitive, prejudiced mind and poor judgement. No doubt, one day these bullies will meet their match. I hope for their sakes that the lessons they learn from their behaviour doesn’t leave any scars.

4PUBLIC TRANSPORT. Where do we start?? Overcrowding? Poor hygiene first thing in the morning? No consideration for others? Bad breath? This list is extensive… Let’s put the track and service operators aside for a moment; we know the trains could be bigger, the seats could be bigger, there could be air conditioning and better heating, the service could be generally more reliable etc, etc, etc… We all know it. What gets on my nerves is the lack of consideration some people have for others. I know it gets tight in the mornings on the train but if you find yourself crushed up against me, maybe you could do something to break the ice? A little smile or a shaking of the head in mutual disdain? An apology even? And how about sorting out your oral hygiene? Do you know that your breath is making the whole carriage unbearable to breathe right now? If you have a medical condition I understand that – and most likely, you do too; – which is why I expect you to forever be chewing a piece of gum and walking with a pocket-sized mouthwash… Ladies – don’t you just HATE it when people lean on you inappropriately? You can almost (and literally) feel them breathing on you as they think perverted thoughts. A stiff elbow and quick readjustment of your angle should rectify the situation sharply… And then there’s the highly annoying, ‘Can you move in please??’ announcement that prospective travellers make as they stand longingly on the platform, wishing they were on the train. Just wait for the next one. Sorry… And you rucksack wearers – take it off! Don’t you realise that people’s legs are smaller than their torsos? If you took your rucksack off your back and put it on the ground or held it in your hands – you would alleviate space up top and maybe another person could get on the train… Children! Parents, please, please, please control your children. Don’t let them run riot on the bus or train. It is highly annoying and makes the journey unbearable for other people… Then there’s people eating strong smelling food… People littering… Drunk, disorderly behaviour… Smoking… The list really does go on. I sum this one up with one thing – CONSIDER OTHER PEOPLE!!!

5Taxi Drivers. Generally, I dislike taxi drivers. I don’t trust them. Now I’m not being ignorant or prejudice without cause here; but they always seem to try to rip me off. I have no problem shutting down their fake efforts to be friendly and generate empty conversation in a bid to distract me. They are sneaky creatures… They do everything they can to make the journey as long as possible. Mileage is the winning ticket. After that it’s waiting-time.

From taking the scenic route, to using dodgy apps (like WAZE) that send you on questionable route choices, – to driving really slow in hopes of catching red traffic lights; I’ve seen it all. The thing is that I am also a driver. I mainly catch cabs when I can’t drive that day for whatever reason. Usually it’s not for a brand new journey. So when I get this guy trying to tell me the ‘best route’ for where I want to go, not knowing that I have driven the journey every morning, 4 times a week for 5 yrs; – it ticks me off a little. You have to be on guard. I’m probably one of those annoying back seat drivers; – I find myself telling the driver to switch lanes to a quicker lane because I know driver behaviour according to where we are on our trip – and what time of day it is. For example, sometimes the slow lane on a dual carriageway is the fast lane and vice-versa. You can’t fall asleep. Once, I made the mistake of falling asleep in an Uber. OMG… I woke up in the middle of what turned out to be a 12 mile detour because the M11 was closed! Not my driver’s fault but I felt like it could have been because I was not awake to see if he made an error or not… Solution?? Drive yourself, stick with public transport or earn enough money so that you can afford to pay dodgy cabbie’s extortionate rates, lol.

I’m sure I have more Pet Peeves – these ones came to mind the quickest. Maybe I’ll do a part 2 soon… TELL ME – do you have any Pet Peeves? Use the comment box below.

Thanks for reading guys!