I don’t know anyone that does not like food. I don’t know anybody that does not salivate at the thought of eating their favourite food choice. The flavours… The colours… The textures… The aromas… Mmmm… Chocolate…

So here’s the thing; – I want to eat what my tongue loves the taste of, without the consequences. Why can’t we have both?! It’s as if my very tastebuds are corrupt!!! I love the taste of opulence, luxuriousness, richness – but in a food format… Chocolate, cakes, ice cream etc are great but what really gets me are salty, savoury things like pies, pasties and carbs; like potatoes or pasta, cheesy goodness, sausage rolls etc. Woop-woop!

So something is wrong here. We are told that these foods are no good for us; and I believe them y’know? The voices, the food critics, the do-gooders, the health freaks and social justice warriors; along with the conspiracy theorists that preach about how the whole world is one corrupt wasteland, with an eye on sapping me of my commercial energy (money), in a bid to feed on it themselves; – Matrix-style.

So here’s a question – WHY DO WE DO IT TO OURSELVES???

Is there something wrong with us? You know that when you eat cheese you get a crazy stomach ache, mad flatulence and a runny, smelly toilet experience…

But do you love and still partake of a Dominos pizza? YES!!! You have even found these pills on the market that stop the effects of cheese and general dairy intake. Personally, I used to love making Digestive cereal. This was ‘milk & cookies’ x100. Basically, get 10-12 Digestive biscuits and break them up in a cereal bowl. Next – add milk and let them soak before mashing them up into a Weetabix looking mixture. ENJOY! 

Throughout my childhood I loved snacking on Maryland cookies and milk. Slowly, as I got older I experienced stomach aches and adverse reactions to this delight. See, back then there was not such a thriving health-conscious community; – neither was there masses of such information online. Today, your average child of school age knows what it means to be lactose intolerant. Here’s the thing – we don’t care! We just want what we want and must have it!

Forget the pain… Forget the bloatedness… The nausea… Something’s gonna kill us one day right? Lots of people smoke, drink alcohol and have unprotected casual sex without a care in the world; knowing of the possible dangers but refusing to believe that we might be unlucky or suffer the consequences one day. Also, we somehow think that we have ultimate control over the ways our bodies change…

Even though as we get older we see and feel changes – we are in denial. Our hairs grow grey, we gain weight in places we don’t want to, our joints ache and we get cold when we never used to. What’s the first thing we think when someone suggests that we might be allergic to milk? “Naaaaah! I’ve been drinking milk all my life.” So don’t we change? Don’t we morph into 20, 30, 50, 70 year old adults? Why don’t we listen to ourselves??

Maybe we should listen to our body’s cries for help. Do you think that anything just ‘happens’? See I believe that everything in our bodies happen on purpose and nothing occurs by accident. Every pimple or zit. Every hair that turns grey. Every ounce of fat, every twitch or contraction, every itch or shiver and every hot or cold flush we have… It’s all happening for a reason. Cause & Effect.

So when we get a horrendous spot on our nose – what causes it? Well – we know that when this pimple bursts, inside the pus are a combination of grease and oils as well as enzymes, hormones, dead skin and bacteria. Now I have heard (several times now) that the reason we get spots in the first place is because we don’t drink enough water. While that sounds like a stretch or a scary tactic to get people to drink more water; could it hold some truth in a round about way? Apparently there are obvious orifices available from which the body pushes waste material. These include all of the obvious routes (anus, urinal tract, mouth, nose, eyes, ears) plus the pores in our skin.

What happens when all exits are blocked? What if your body recognises material that shouldn’t be within it and decides to get rid of it anyway? It can’t get to any of the obvious routes out because of where it has discovered this hazardous material; – and its usual route out via the lymphatic system is blocked… What then?! Boom!!! Out directly through your skin it goes.

Hence why drinking more water could help to keep our lymph nodes clear. This is one of the more obvious physical reactions that we go through but perhaps pay little notice to. What about the more undocumented responses like the feeling of fear?

When you go to the sexual health clinic they say that ‘no news is good news’ and they’ll only contact you if there’s a problem (apparently, because I have no personal experience of such things, lol). So when you’re driving to work 2 days later and your phone rings as the number you’ve saved in your phone as ‘G.U.M. DOCS’ flashes up on your screen – why do you nearly crash and swerve as you frantically pull over to take the call?? What is that nervous feeling you feel in the pit of your stomach? Did you make it up? Is it a figment of your imagination or are you feeling physical feelings which you can’t quite quantify?

Sweaty palms… That feeling of fear you feel when your mouth goes dry, your fingers go cold or the hairs on your forearm or the back of your neck stand up and your breathing goes shallow… It could be before an exam, or an interview, or upon receiving a letter from the solicitor’s – it is a definite biological response to events in your life.


It’s a wonderful thing you know? Our bodies. Accept the fact that you can’t control it completely. It’s working tirelessly to stay alive and in good working order. How many of you take the time out to do breathing exercises for example? I bet none of you know how many breaths you’ve taken since you began reading this article!? We don’t appreciate the automatic processes involved in sustaining life in our bodies. Sure – you can hold your breath for 80 seconds but can you force digestion at will? Go on. Try it! Drink a litre of water and wee it straight back into the bottle. I’ll give you 3mins.

No but seriously, it’s a shame that we take so many years to begin to take stock of our bodies. It’s not until we realise that things are going wrong that we decide to change before things get even worse. We take life for granted. Only when we realise that we may not be here for as long as we’d expected or hoped that we decide to try to elongate our time here on Earth. We usually try it by artificial means like operations, pills, injections and magic elixirs of life.

From birth, we all are dying. Our time here on Earth is not infinite. Everything we do either adds or subtracts time from our hours here. If I were you, when it comes to food I would let Every. Bite. Count.

Thanks For Reading!